“Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a slow ripening fruit.”
-Aristotle

In reflecting on the Path of Trials, consider the Top 10 Stressors for Teens*:

1. School and Grades
2. Family Issues
3. Body Image
4. Finances
5. Popularity
6. Siblings
7. Changes
8. Romantic relationships
9. Cyber-bullying
10. Criticism
    

*https://howtoadult.com/top-ten-stressors-teens-8143126.html

Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind.
"Pooh!" he whispered.
"Yes, Piglet?"
"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw. "I just wanted to be sure of you.”
-A.A. Milne,
​The House at Pooh Corner

​According to the Mayo Clinic:

• Social ties are twice as important as exercise for boosting life expectancy
• People with larger social networks tend to experience less stress and healthier blood pressure
• People with strong friendships have reduced levels of depression and unhealthy body mass index (BMI)

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Jean Vanier

What do you need to have a real and lasting friendship?  A partial list should certainly include the following:

• Common interests
• Personal history
• Common values
• Mutuality
• Affection
• Sacrifice for the other
• Trust

                                                                                                                                            The Blind Side: The Virtue of Friendship

If I asked you to name a quarterback who has played in the NFL, my guess is that even non-football fans could come up with someone:  Joe Montana, Brett Favre, Cam Newton, Tom Brady, Aaron Rogers.  But how many of you could name the offensive left tackles who guarded the “blind sides” of these quarterbacks?  Right. 

That’s because, fair or not, the quarterback gets most of the glory.  The responsibility to score points is literally in his hands, so most games are as well. 
         
As the game unfolds, the quarterback takes the ball and drops back time and again, while looking downfield for an open receiver to pass to.  And he looks, and looks, and looks...and all the while the left tackle stands between him and disaster, protecting him from the violent rush of players coming from behind him and wanting to crush him.  The quarterback may get the attention, but he’d be picking up his teeth much more often than wins if someone didn’t have his back.
         
Michael Lewis highlights this truth in The Blind Side, a good book that became an inspiring movie.  But the story of Michael Oher, the young man who goes from poster child for youth-at-risk to NFL star, is about a lot more than football.
         
Oher had all the physical gifts in the world;  massive size, herculean strength, and eye-popping agility.  Yet he would have been lost if the Tuohys, his adoptive family, hadn’t taken an active interest in him, continued investing love and care in him, and provided a safe environment where he could develop and grow.  Through friendship, they had his “blind side.” 
         
Becoming a successful human being, which is not the same thing as becoming wealthy, famous, or powerful, is essentially about relationships.  And at the heart of relationships is the virtue of friendship. 
         
It takes a great deal to be a friend.  Yet, the common perception continues to be that if you have fun with someone, you’re friends.  Friendships apparently demand about as much effort as "following" someone on Twitter, "liking" a post on Instagram, or clicking “accept” on a Facebook  invitation. 
         
This, of course, is a recipe for disaster.
         
Friendship, like any virtue, takes time to develop.  It can and should include fun, and common interests, and attraction.  But it’s about a lot more than that.
         
Friendship, true and personal connection that lasts, is always about giving and receiving;   practicing  and  learning how to be trustworthy with another, how to be responsive with another, how to be caring with another, and how to be truthful with another.
         
But to really understand the virtue of friendship, begin by focusing on the 'blind side protection.'  Have your friend's back!

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